A reminder not to sweat the small stuff
In 2019, Christian taught a semester-long course for Wake Forest at their study abroad program in Venice, Italy. We took all four of our kids who were then 16, 13, 10, and 6 years old. We spent thousands of dollars going to 8 countries, saw the Eiffel Tower, the Mona Lisa, and the Sistine Chapel, we climbed an active volcano (Mt. Vesuvius), slept in a treehouse outside Dubrovnik, Croatia, went to Easter Mass with the Pope in St. Peter’s square, and experienced a Mardi Gras parade in Nice and Carnivale in Venice. I could go on and on. It was the trip of a lifetime. It’s been three years since that trip and Dominic just shared with me his favorite memory. (He was in the 8th grade then and going into his senior year now.) I found the pic to go with it:
Not what you expected, right?! Read on for the story.
I love to travel. I don’t love the planning though. I inevitably get overwhelmed, uncertain, stressed, just DONE. And then I cry. About a week or two before we were set to head to Europe for this 6-week trip, I just didn’t feel ready. We had 10 days of nonstop travel before going to the Wake Forest house in Vienna. The plane tickets were purchased and I had lodging for the 10 days to get us there, but I was realizing there was soooo much not planned–train tickets from place to place, reservations for sights we wanted to see, where and what to eat, what to pack, etc. I was having a freakout, complaining to my hubby about trying to walk the line between planning as much as I can to make things run smoothly while staying flexible so we can adjust.
I was in tears. I know, I know, these are truly first-world problems, for sure. Dominic, my 17-year-old-son, walked into the room and instead of running the other direction when he saw my tears, sat next to me on the couch, put his arm around me (for real! and this is not necessarily normal behavior for him), and said, “Mom, can I tell you my most favorite memory from our trip to Italy?” I had no idea where this was going!
“Do you remember that crappy hotel we stayed at? I think it was in France? Remember–all six of us were sleeping in ONE ROOM, mom! It was so small there were only beds and you could hardly walk and there was nowhere to sit? So, we took the single chair and went out in the hall, sat on the floor, and ate brie and baguettes. That’s my favorite memory of Europe.”
I was flabbergasted. I definitely remember the hotel–it was memorable because it was pretty crappy– but I had forgotten about the hallway. Why would I remember that? I didn’t schedule that or reserve tickets or plan for it!
And that was his point. The best memories just kind of happen. The rest of the family joined in with their memories of that night. Apparently, it was late so I was getting Patrick and Genevieve to sleep while Christian, Celeste, and Dominic hung out in the hall. The light out there was on a motion sensor so it would randomly turn off and plunge them into darkness and they’d laugh hysterically and wave their hands around to restore the light. We hadn’t eaten enough for dinner and had stopped at the store for snacks for later. It was France so, of course, we got brie and baguettes. (Probably wine too.)
Remember my laundry list of highlights during this 5-month trip? If you weren’t already impressed let me add to the list by sharing two of my favorite experiences we had. One is the lighthouse we rented on the Istrian Peninsula of Croatia and the second is swimming in the Saturnia hot springs pools in the Tuscan countryside of Italy. Here are the pictures representing my favorites from our trip.
These are just a few of the images I associate with a successful vacation. But that crappy hotel with grocery store brie and baguettes got first place in Dominic’s eyes.
Now, I hope you don’t take this story as ingratitude. I certainly don’t! It was just the reminder I needed from a son who knows me well–don’t sweat the small stuff, Mom. All my kids definitely remember all the big stuff we did and appreciate it all as much as kids can, but real, favorite memories sometimes happen in a crappy hotel hallway… and you can’t plan for that. It was a good reminder and we all need those.
In fact, this has happened before. I had forgotten. I needed the reminder. Years ago, we took the kids to Washington, D.C. for spring break. We did all the major sites AND all the cool museums. At the end of the trip, I asked the kids what their favorite part of the trip was. One kid said the hotel pool and the other one said the really long escalator in the subway.
So, it doesn’t matter if your family is doing a beach trip this summer, a staycation around your house, an epic road trip of the American West, or anything in between–try to remember not to sweat the small stuff. Do your best to plan for what you can and let the rest go–you will be making memories when you least expect it!